CHAPTER ONE!!!

Really cheap champagne and rat poop, neither known for smelling nice, have very distinct scents that combine to form an even more distinct and quite unpleasant one. It was this uniquely unpleasant smell that crept into my nose and forced away a very nice dream about gerbil ballerinas. I lay there trying desperately to fall back to sleep before the big finale when I noticed my bed felt particularly lumpy, and wet, and icky and that the smell that had roused me was by far one of the gentler ones swirling in the immediate vicinity. I was trying to remember how long it had been since I washed my sheets when something bit me on the toe. I let out a girlish yelp, jumped to my feet, slammed my head into something, fell down, got up again, slipped on something gooey, spun around, fell four feet to the ground and was met with a sudden cavalcade of drunken cheers and clumsy applause. It was then I realized that I had just woken up in a dumpster.

The long-awaited TITLE of the novel!

Qualtaghs

or

Why does the quality of my day depend on the clerk at the 7-11?

Introduction part A

One word by itself is boring, but a bunch of words in a row... WOW!! So get ready gentle reader for a bunch, a big bunch, a really big bunch, a... um really extra big bunch of words, IN A ROW!!!!

Preface (pt. 1)

When I think of a novel, I think of a book with a story or two traversing its pages. When I think of a book with a story or two traversing its pages, though, I do not think of a novel. Instead, I think that traversing pages is a somewhat odd thing for a story (or two) to do. So it appears that the logic of reversable statements will not help us with this novel. With this in mind, I ask you, the reader to join us, the co-authors, in a willing suspension of belief* and enjoy this, what the critics are bound to call a "jolly romp through the electrons of weblogs."



* I am aware that this is not the exact phrase that's usually batted about in English classes, but I think suspending disbelief is passé.